Reflections from my Dating Journey: It All Came Down to a Mental Shift
Read Perel Lightman’s authentic and inspiring personal dating journey. Discover her incredible insight and how it helped guide her along her way.
How Can My Husband and I Agree on Where to Live?
Dear Dr. Chani, My husband and I are at a standstill about where to live. When we got married four years ago, we agreed to live in New York so that he could finish graduate school. Now that he is going to graduate at the end of this year, we are under pressure to make …
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Depressed about Dating? How to Change Your Mindset
Dear Dr. Chani, I am wondering what I can do about my depressing dating life. Beyond my wildest dreams, I would never have imagined that I would be dating for over ten years. I admit that during my first few years of dating, I was quick to judge people. I regret that I said no …
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Why is My Wife Critical of Me?
Dear Dr. Chani, It pains me to write about a relationship issue I have with my wife. Although we have what I would consider a pretty good marriage, I feel that in many ways she is critical of me. It really demotivates me to help out at home and hang out with my family. I …
When Your Date is Socially Awkward with Your Family
Dear Dr. Chani, I am reaching out to you to get your advice about a guy I am dating – let’s call him Avi. We have gone out for a few months and I am still undecided about moving forward. He has a lot of the qualities I am looking for. He is kind, thoughtful, …
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Are Your Worries Masking Another Underlying Anxiety?
Dear Dr. Chani, I read your recent column about worrying with great interest. One sentence really resonated with me. You wrote, “there are many possible alternative worries that may be masked by your main focus.” I have been wondering if that applies to my life. For as long as I can remember, I have had …
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Issues with Attraction in Dating
Dear Dr. Chani, Over the past four years that I have dated, I have not gone out with many guys. I tend to be selective about who I chose to date. Recently, I decided to go out with someone who sounded like a great person. The drawback for me is that he is on the …
Feeling Guilty About Planning a Fancy Wedding
Dear Dr. Chani, I have recently attended several small weddings in backyards, country clubs, and parking lots. I have also watched a few weddings on Zoom. What I would have once been totally shocked to see has become fairly common. When my friends first started getting married in a casual, downsized way, I pitied them. …
My Dating Partner Refuses to Go for Therapy
Dear Dr. Chani, I desperately need your advice about how to handle my situation with the girl that I am dating. I have been dating her for three months, and I am worried about our relationship. Usually, we have a great time together and we get along really well. The problems start whenever we need …
How to Deal with People Who Disappoint You
Dear Dr. Chani, Last month I found myself faced with a huge emotional challenge that I still feel bad about. For the first time, my husband and I decided that it was healthy for our family to visit a different town this summer. We selected an “out of town” location that has a significant Jewish …
Can I Leave My Parents and Make Aliyah?
Dear Dr. Chani, The many shifts in current events over the past year have really left me feeling unsettled. The economy seems unstable and the political situation is nerve-racking to me as well. I have always been somewhat considering the idea of making aliyah, but I have never been ready before. Now I feel a …