Reflections from my Dating Journey: It All Came Down to a Mental Shift
Read Perel Lightman’s authentic and inspiring personal dating journey. Discover her incredible insight and how it helped guide her along her way.
Is the Girl I am Dating Abusive?
Dear Dr. Chani, How can I know if the person I am dating is abusive or within the range of normal? I have been dating a woman, let’s call her Zahava, for about four months. I noticed some strange behaviors from the start, but some of her habits have become more concerning over time. One …
My Husband is a Perfectionist. How Can I Feel Closer to Him?
Dear Dr. Chani, I would love to get along better with my husband. We have been married for over a decade but it seems like forever. An outsider would probably say that we have a great marriage, yet the truth is that I find it very difficult to feel close to my husband. He is …
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How Can I Date When I Am Religiously Conflicted?
Dear Dr. Chani, I have been dating for a while and have never had a serious relationship. One of the major questions I wonder about is how to determine if a person is religious enough for me. I grew up in a home where my mother clearly wanted to be more religious than my father. …
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My Friend’s Husband Is So Much Better Than Mine!
Dear Chani, I have been struggling with a bad feeling for around two years. It started when new neighbors moved in a few doors away from us. At first, I felt very lucky to have such wonderful people living on our block. But as our children became good friends, and we had more to do …
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Hope in the Wake of the Tragedy in Meron
As I sit down to write, my mind is flooded with the tragedy that occurred on Lag BaOmer in Meron, Israel. During a climatic and momentous celebration marking the time that Rabbi Akiva sought out Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai and a few other students to rebuild the Torah legacy after his 24,000 students perished, the …
We Are Good Friends So Why Does He Not Want to Date Me?
Dear Dr. Chani, There is a guy who lives in my neighborhood who I would love to date. There is one problem – he does not seem interested in me. Or maybe he is. Let’s call him Zack. Zack and I have been friends for a few years. I often host him for Shabbos meals, …
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Should I Recommend Couples Therapy to My Friend with Marital Issues?
Dear Dr. Chani, When I get together with one of my married friends and her husband, it is very uncomfortable for me. It is obvious to me that they have marital issues. Her husband will make jokes about her and criticize her opinions in public. I never thought of my friend as an insecure person, …
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Talk About Embarrassing Dating Stories!
Recently, in the spirit of Purim, I invited people to share their most embarrassing dating stories with me. We could all use a good laugh so here goes… One time I was going on a blind date. I had arranged to meet the guy at a comfortable lobby in Manhattan and walk around the city. …
How Can My Husband and I Agree on Where to Live? Dealing with Marital Conflict
Dear Dr. Chani, My husband and I are at a standstill about where to live. When we got married four years ago, we agreed to live in New York so that he could finish graduate school. Now that he is going to graduate at the end of this year, we are under pressure to make …
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Depressed about Dating? How to Change Your Mindset
Dear Dr. Chani, I am wondering what I can do about my depressing dating life. Beyond my wildest dreams, I would never have imagined that I would be dating for over ten years. I admit that during my first few years of dating, I was quick to judge people. I regret that I said no …
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